For the last week, literally since Tuesday, I slept on average 20 hours a day - just couldn't wake up.  So I decided that it's ridiculous, and lowered myself a doze of diazepam from 8mg a day to 6mg a day (stopped taking the morning 2mg - stayed on lunch 2mg and night 4mg).  Felt a bit better yesterday, i.e. although I wasn't able to do much, I could be at least half-conscious on the sofa, and only doze off every so often, but I'd say I slept some 18 hours in total.  Today was even better: managed to have two students, so 4 hours or being actually awake sufficiently to teach the language! Big success.  Mind you, finished the last class at 6.30pm and woke up at 2ish am, was so exhausted.  But still!

The only downside is that I already feel the difference in pain: maybe I shouldn't, because the 2mg of diazepam is just a drop in the amount of medication I take - the painkillers and muscle-relaxants - but I feel it the most in the right shoulder (which my physio tried to get to work last Monday, but all my home efforts in exercises ended up in odd clicking noises and even more pain) and the neck.  Another session of physio tomorrow - we'll see what happens with the damn shoulder then...

I managed to have some salad for lunch today, and ever since I feel sick, as if I had a large baloon inserted into my stomack.  I have to remember to call my GP tomorrow and ask, if she got theultrasound results, and what do they show (if anything?). The cancer markers test result should be in next week - I hope it might be a big step towards finding out what is eating me, quite literaly...  In a way, can't way, in a way - wish it was all behind me already...

Wasn't feeling great yesterday, I was cold, hot, sweaty, chilly - eventually decided to check if I had fever.  The thermometer was showing 35.6 degrees, so I check again - the same.  I don't think I was ever so 'cold', yet the sensation was just feeling sick, weak and tired, not cold as such.  But at least managed to eat some dinner: Rachel brought me another plate of morsels to die for (thou I hope her intention is that it is 'to live for'!).

Today had a physio session - it was incredible to see how much less movement I have on the right side than on the left, and after ten minutes my arms and legs were shaking. I thought I would be able to drive back home, but had to sit in the car for a good while and wait to regain some control over my body: it wasn't responding quick enough, so I wasn't safe to drive (even if it's only five minutes distance).

This is really strange: i posted the previous entry at 22.37, but is says 14.37...  is something wrong with me, or with this blog-page???

Had a very shaky day yesterday - my body just wouldn't stay still...  Today, spent entire day resting, and the kids must have felt something wasn't right with me: first, Fredie was cuddled up on my chest, then when Fred moved, Jacky took over and lied down beside the sofa, and right now is curled on the floor beside the chair.  Maybe it's the result of my busy week: I've been seen by various doctors every single day last week, Monday to Friday, and that's tiring.  Psychically and mentally, because each visit is another step in discovering the extend of my body's malfunction and inability to recover...

Rachel brought me dinner - ate it in three goes, but finished the plate.  It was delicious, but full plate is far too much for me, can't eat such amount any more.  Lost nearly a stone (10 kg) in the last four weeks and I feel it.

i was watching a documentary on human body (BBC), where they made an excellent point about one's age: one is created from an egg of one's mother - but the mother was born with all the eggs already in the ovaries, and so those eggs were created by one's grandmother, when she was pregnant with one's mother.  So, the actual age we are talking about should be counted from the moment of grandmother's conception! i always hated putting the year of birth in any social forum, so from now on i can truthfully say i was created in March 1906 - and since i got ill, there are days when i feel my age of 107...